arthur finished his first 4th grade project yesterday. landforms.
we had so much fun making it. i especially got in to it (yeah, go figure).
he's the most amazing boy. you'd know that if you ever met him.
he has a way of touching you with his eyes.
man, those eyes.
wrote this to my dad a few years ago.
tomorrow my first born son begins his first day of first grade.
it's a beautiful thing i get to witness.
a grown-ups eye within a child's memory.
trying not to watch it happen like it already happened.
he was anxious tonight.
already i see fears constructing themselves.
like sand castles on a beach - they just come from somewhere.
it's part of all of us and he's joining.
i see him becoming right now.
i am frightened and excited at once just to love him like i do,
wanting to protect him and release him into his own like i do.
a man he will be someday suddenly to himself.
i bought fresh flowers for myself today.
arthur found happiness in helping me pick them out.
i feel love in my flowers, giving my house pretty pink life -
helping me see the possibilities of another day.
even without the memory of it ever happening before.